I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Randomize
