can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Randomize
