I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
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