I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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