Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
