Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Terrible idea I love it
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize