I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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