I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Randomize
