I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
