Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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