Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
