when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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