got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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