If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Redeem this text for a blowjob
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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