Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Come see our sink grown plant.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
