My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
