So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
