I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Randomize
