Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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