when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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