I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
