I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
The air taste purple.
Randomize
