omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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