Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
