OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
