well I can't set my house on fire every night
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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