I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
