I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize