5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
