If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Randomize
