Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
You are the jesus of drinking
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
