i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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