So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
