If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
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