Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
