Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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