This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I feel great
I just peed on a car
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
