just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Randomize
