Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Randomize
