Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
