I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
