it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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