let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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