dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
