i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
