Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
