if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
