Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
