I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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