he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
