Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
