I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
