He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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