Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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