What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
