I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
