Already got asked if we're dating
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
