Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
What a dumb baby whore.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
