i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
The struggles of a small town man whore
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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