her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
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