She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
