Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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