I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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