Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
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