I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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